Welcome to my mind

The moonlight of the full moon shines brightly, casting a gleaming shine on the blood that is splattered all over the room. The bed holds two people, one sleeping and the other dead. The woman stirs restlessly, moaning as she slowly wakes up. Blood splatters on the floor and smears on her body as she sits up and screams, “NO!”

Confused, she looks around, struggling to recognize her surroundings. Blinking slowly in horror, she finally realizes where she is.

“No!” I whispered in shock, my body trembling with fear, cold, and shock. This couldn’t be happening; it must be just a dream, I kept thinking to myself, unwilling to accept the reality. “Please, I didn’t want to. Why did you make me do this?”

“I told you, it’s my time to play. I chose you because you are mine. I control what you do and how you do it. You enjoyed it, didn’t you? I felt your pleasure when you slit his throat. Ha Ha! We are going to have so much fun! We’re not done yet. Let’s keep going; he’s strong and will give us a few more hours.”

“Please, Cat, please stop. Why?” came the mangled, cursed voice of the body beside me. I saw the confusion and fear in his eyes. Parts of his skin were missing from his face, and his scalp was exposed on top of his head. “Please… help,” he barely managed to whisper. His body was covered in cuts along his neck, arms, chest, and legs. His legs seemed to disappear into the puddle of blood on the bed.

“I’m so sorry, Peter. I didn’t want to. I’m so sorry…” I whispered to him, tears streaming down my face. I felt myself shivering and then the images flooded my mind. I saw myself caressing him, kissing him, and slowly tying him up. I saw his smile turn into horror when I took out the switchblade he had given me for my birthday. I witnessed the gruesome acts as I slowly cut him and cackled when he screamed in terror. I saw the lust and eagerness on my face as I peeled his skin from his stomach, while he withered underneath me, begging me to stop.

I shook myself, trying to dispel the horrifying images of what I had done. I quickly got out of bed and looked around, realizing we were in an unfamiliar bedroom. “Oohh,” I heard a low moan nearby. I stood frozen, not knowing what to do. “Oohh, please,” the voice said again. Gathering my courage, I followed the sound into the bathroom. As I turned on the lights, I couldn’t believe what I saw. Blood was smeared on the walls and mirrors, and the floor was a mixture of water and blood. I heard running water and feared what awaited me in the tub. “Please, help me,” came a slurred whisper. Slowly inching my way toward the bathroom, I looked into the tub and saw something unimaginable.

“Nice work! I love how you only peeled half of the face, leaving the cheek muscle exposed. I didn’t think you had it in you, Cat! The throat looks great, but why didn’t you peel the whole neck? And look at those hands! You’re amazing!” The Voice mocked and laughed.

“STOP IT! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOU!” I screamed at The Voice. “This wasn’t me! I couldn’t have done this,” I whispered to myself in shock.

“Please, help,” said the body in the tub.

“I’m so sorry, I am so sorry,”

I kept repeating to him, not knowing what else to say. The peeled hand started to move and reached out to me. I stepped back in fear and slipped on the wet floor. Scrambling to get up, I ran into the bedroom, avoiding looking at the horror on the bed, and made my way to the living room. Frantically searching for my phone, I couldn’t remember where I had put it. All the while, The Voice cackled in my head, expressing pride in me and how I was improving at what I was doing.

“What??” I stopped in shock. “What do you mean?” I asked, fear gripping me, not really wanting to know the truth.

“Come on, Cat. How could you forget our first time? We had so much fun! Remember the librarian? That scrawny, nerdy kid who kept following you around, asking if you needed help? The one who told you he had a crush on you and wanted to take you out on a date? You can’t say you don’t remember; you gave him his first and last kiss! Let me show you what you did, my sweet, sweet Catrina,” The Voice said smugly.

Laughing with glee, I felt my head splitting, and everything faded except for the image of the nerdy scrawny kid. His baby blue eyes framed by thick brown eyeglasses, his dirty blond hair, and that nervous smile looking up at me hopefully. He must have been at least 15 years old. I remembered him. He worked as a volunteer in the library, reading to preschoolers as part of a school program because he wanted to be a counselor one day. I told him I couldn’t go out with him because not only was it illegal for me, but I also had a boyfriend.

“Yeah, you lied to the poor kid. How mean of you. That crestfallen face was such a sweet thing to watch. You just destroyed his confidence. At least now he doesn’t have to worry about girls. Lol,” The Voice taunted.

As I watched the events of that day unfold in my mind, I didn’t realize I was still holding my phone, and the lights had been turned on. I quickly looked around, searching for any signs of intrusion, but no one was there. My phone displayed a name, and I sent a text to 911, providing them with the address where I was.

“Nooo! Why do you have to spoil our fun? I don’t want him here. If he comes, he will be MINE!” The Voice screamed in anger, its anger turning into pain. My head throbbed as if a hammer were being slammed into it.

“I don’t care! You’re not going to hurt him. I won’t let you! You might have control over me sometimes, but not all the time. Now leave me alone! You’re not welcome, and don’t you dare put images in my head again! YOU DO NOT CONTROL ME!” I screamed, exhausted, waiting for a reply. It seemed that, at least for now, I had managed to make The Voice retreat inside my head.

I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. Feeling my phone vibrate, I smiled. At least he’s coming. As always, he’s the one I can always count on. I heard a splash and realized there was someone still alive. I moved around the place, searching for a first aid kit. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t leave them there to die. Let’s see if all that reading has paid off. I found clean sheets and a bucket, filling it with ice and cold water. I soaked a clean sheet and used it to tend to the wounds.

Meanwhile, I slowly moved the body in the tub to drain the water, trying my best to avoid looking at it, but unable to resist. I kept whispering, “I’m sorry, so sorry,” not knowing what else to say. I ripped the soaked sheet into pieces and started wrapping them around the exposed muscles. It seemed that The Voice hadn’t gone that far, but enough to cause pain and immobility.

Hearing a knock on the door, I looked through the peephole. Sighing in relief, I opened the door and immediately jumped into his arms, giving him a bear hug. Crying uncontrollably, he closed the door and sat on the sofa with me, holding me tightly. Just having him there somehow made me feel like it couldn’t get any worse.

“Catrina, hey, we need to talk,” he whispered slowly, caressing my back. “Hey, come on. I know it happened again, but it’s okay. I’m here now.”

He slowly released me and guided me to sit beside him. By this time, I had stopped crying and just sat there numb, not knowing what to say. I looked into his eyes and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, preparing myself for whatever would happen next.

“Just tell me where it is, and I’ll take care of it,” he whispered.

“In the bedroom and bathroom. Um… The one in the bathroom is still alive… I’m so…” I managed to say before he rushed into the bedroom and then the bathroom. I closed my eyes, waiting for a scream or some kind of outcry. But there was only silence and murmuring. “Kev…” I whispered, but he couldn’t hear me.

“Have you called 911 yet?” he asked.

“No.”

“Call this number, give them the address now,” he commanded and went back into the bedroom.

Watching him walk into the bedroom and close the door filled me with fear. I did as he told me, calling the number and providing them with the address. They didn’t ask any questions, only stating that they would be there in 10 minutes. My body trembled, fearing what would happen next. He emerged from the bedroom and gave me instructions to cut more sheets and put them in a bucket, changing the water in the process. I followed his every instruction, finishing just as there was a knock on the door. He opened the door to three men with bags and a stretcher, and they walked past me, one of them taking the bucket from my hand. I looked into his eyes and felt a sense of falling into a black hole. Just like that, he was gone, and I was left standing there alone.

I don’t remember everything that happened next because I was so tired. I fell asleep on the sofa. I knew they had taken the bodies, and I felt myself being picked up. It wasn’t Kevin; it was the man with the dark eyes. He held me gently and placed me in the car. My body turned toward him, and I snuggled closer. He smelled like baby powder, and I felt safe, but at the same time, there were butterflies in my stomach. Unsure of what that meant, I just knew that I could relax and welcome the darkness that signaled sleep.

Sitting at Kevin’s place a few days later, I felt nervous. We hadn’t talked about the events involving the two people, and I reluctantly agreed to come over after he bombarded me with voicemails. “Cat, we need to talk. You can’t just stay here and be silent,” Kevin said softly, looking at me, waiting for a response. I had none to give him; I could only stare into his eyes and silently cry.

 I wished I could tell him what happened that night, but I couldn’t remember it myself. The images I had seen filled me with shock. I didn’t want to believe it had happened; maybe it was just a nightmare.

“I need you to listen to me, okay? I have a friend I want you to talk to. He knows a little bit about what you’re going through…”

“WHAT? What do you mean? I told you not to tell anyone!” I screamed at him, unable to believe he had shared my secret with a stranger. I felt betrayed; I had trusted him.

“It’s okay, I promise. He said he could help. I trust him. I’ve known this guy for a long time, Cat,” he reassured me. “He was one of the guys who helped that night.”

“Fine, I’ll meet him,” I reluctantly agreed. The guy already knew what had happened; he had witnessed the aftermath. How much worse could it be?

“Well, well, well. Kevin thinks he can come in and be your knight in shining armor… The joke’s on him. He has no clue what I am and what I can do. He won’t save you; no one can. You understand me? NO ONE!” The Voice suddenly jumped into my head. I shed tears and shook my head, desperate for The Voice to stop.

“Please, Kevin, I don’t think it’s a good idea. The Voice says he will make you watch while we kill your friend,” I whispered to him. I hugged him tightly. Here was a man I had leaned on, and now he was willingly offering his help. I had no clue why he would do that. Now his friend’s life was at risk, and maybe even his own. I didn’t know what to say to him, so I just sat there, trembling in despair.

“Oh, don’t get too upset, Cat. I know how we can cheer you up. Let me out, and let’s go have some fun! That cashier, she looked so yummy. Those beautiful green eyes—I just want to suck them out of her almond-shaped eyes. Please, oh please, let me out and play!” The Voice taunted.

“No! Get out of my head, please!” I begged, starting to hit my head with my own fist. “Stop it! Stop it! Get out of my head. No, I won’t let you out to play. I won’t let you hurt her! DO YOU HEAR ME? I WON’T LET YOU HURT HER!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Startled, Kevin jumped off the sofa, looking at me with fear. “What’s wrong?” he yelled at me. Seeing me hit myself and ignoring him, he picked me up and put me on his lap, holding my hands to stop me from hurting myself. I went limp and started crying. I couldn’t articulate what The Voice had said to me.

“Honey, please calm down. I’ll make you some tea. Do you want me to make you some tea?” he asked, trying to comfort me.

“Yes, please, but please don’t leave me,” I whispered, not knowing why I wanted him to keep holding me. Maybe because I felt safe, and because I could sense The Voice seething with anger. In Kevin’s arms, I knew The Voice couldn’t break through. So I wanted to stay in his arms as long as possible.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and the safe feeling vanished.

“He will never, NEVER be able to protect you! I am the ONLY one who will ALWAYS be there. Don’t think you have any heroes in your life because you don’t! No one can save you, do you understand me? NO ONE!” The Voice cackled in my head like a hammer slamming into glass. I felt my brain shattering into a million pieces, while my body convulsed in pain.

“Get her in the tub NOW!” I heard a distant shout. I felt hands picking me up from Kevin’s arms and plunging my body into something cold. “Come on, wake up! WAKE UP!” I heard a commanding male voice. His hands around my waist kept dunking me into the freezing water. Although I could hear and feel him, I couldn’t respond or open my eyes. My body was still in pain, still convulsing. It felt as though I wasn’t in my own body anymore.

“I’ll call an ambulance. She needs help!” I heard Kevin yell at the man.

“No! They can’t do anything. She needs to come out of this herself. I know what I’m doing,” the man said. I felt him lean closer to me and whisper, “You will let her go now. I won’t let you hurt her. You can tell her your lies, but I am here now. LET HER GO NOW! I COMMAND YOU!”

“You can’t command me! Who do you think you are? No one owns me but her! She is mine! She is MINE!” The Voice screamed through me at the man. At the same time, I opened my eyes, but it wasn’t me. I knew it wasn’t me. The Voice had taken over, and now I feared for my friend and his friend’s lives.

“Do you think you can command me? You despicable, rotting flesh! I am about to have some fun with you,” The Voice murmured to the man. “I love those cobalt dark eyes you have. Tell me, would you mind if I lick them and then suck them out of your head? I think I would love hearing you scream while I slowly suck them out. Yes, you will have the luxury of feeling all the pain, no numbing at all. I want to hear your screams!” Laughing, The Voice reached for his face, but something prevented it from touching him. The man simply looked straight at me and slowly smiled. I felt the convulsions subsiding, replaced by a sense of unease. The Voice paused, transfixed, and started to doubt itself.

For the first time, I felt like The Voice… yes… felt fear!

“You will leave her alone now. Go back to that little hole of blackness that you call your life. I promise you, you don’t own her. You won’t ruin her,” the man whispered back. “Please, try to lick my eyeballs. Try to get close, and see how I will slowly make your little hole of blackness into nothingness.”

The man slowly inched closer to my face and I could feel the The Voice slowly retreating. Slowly giving me back control. I could not think of nothing else because then my body just felt a shock of ice-cold water and I started shivering.

The man smiled at me “Hi there, welcome back.” He said conversationally and slowly got up with me. Not realizing that I was soaking wet, and, in his arms, I smiled sheepishly at him. His dark eyes hypnotizing me and those damn butterflies coming back into my stomach.

“Here’s a towel Cat.” Kevin said to me irritated.

The man put me down slowly keeping me close to his body making me feel sparks. Forgetting the towels, forgetting about Kevin even The Voice I wanted nothing else but to keep drowning myself into those dark eyes of this mysterious man.

“Dammit, both of you dry off now or I’ll fucking kick your asses. Remember this is my place!” Kevin finally yelled and threw the towels at us walking away angrily.